Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ibis Blog--anticipating the story


Please answer both questions in a thoughtful way. Interact with your peers here by commenting on their ideas and challenging their thinking.

1. Think about your relationships with people you love, especially in your family. Can love and cruelty co-exist? Why or why not?

2. Should you try to change someone you love, or should you make changes for someone you love? Why or why not?

52 comments:

  1. 1. I love my brothers but they beat me up all the time and some times it makes me mad but most of the time I love them and that will never change.

    2. you shoukld be the one that sould change because of the fackt if they change for you then your happy but the one you love is not.

    From Brandon Minshall

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  2. R.Gregory
    1.I love my famaly a lot and I would not change any of them. They all help me get stronger and better. Yes love and cruelty can co-exist by you need both to have a good life

    2. You should sometimes try to change some but do it fo the better. Also you sould try to chande if you realy love them.
    R.Gregory

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  3. 1. I love my family and they love me. There can be badthings, but I wouldn't exactly call it cruelty.

    2. You should make changes because if you try to make them change, that might not make it seem like you love the other person enoughto change.

    3. Weren't there supposed to be three questions?

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  4. 1. Yes cruelty and love can co-exist because i love my siblings alot but i dont show it all the time and we can be mean to eachother alot but that doesnt change the fact that we love them still.

    2. I think that you should have to change for someone you love because you cant make them change but you can make an effort to change for them if you love them. They should also try to make an effort to change for you if they really love you.

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  5. 1. I love my family and friends, but sometimes they hurt you. My brother used to hurt me all the time and now I can take a lot more pain than i would have if he hadn't. Now we are both mature enough to get along. My friends and I used to get into fights all the time, so now I am well aware of how to prevent fights and when I do get into one, i know how to make it better. We have all have learned. My parents and I used to argue a bunch also, but now I don't talk back and they respect and trust me more, as i get older. Love and cruality do co-exist because without both, we wouldn't be strong.
    2. No you shouldn't try to change someone you love because if you do try and that is not who they are then bad things will happen and something better that might have happened with them being themselves, probably won't turn out. If it is something that is affecting their lives in a majorly bad way, then you can at least try and maybe the consequences will turn out good.

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  6. Cruelty and love can most definatly co-exist and if they couldn't I personally would not be able to handle as much as I can now.

    If you truely love someone and their being different hurts you deeply for whatever reason, you should be the one to change, not them, because most times it's not like they had a choice on how they'd turn out.

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  7. 1. OH yea. when i think of cruelty my first thought is hate but really cruelty doesn't mean you hate someone it just means you are pretty much causing another person pain. Although in the deffinition for curelty it says that its deliberate, but really it doesn't have to be. you can love someone but you can still cause them pain as well.

    2. Love in any form weather friendship or a realationship is a sacrifise that you do for the other person i beleive that you shouldn't try to change some one you should change for someone. only thing is you have to change for you not because the other person wants you to. takes two to tango right so love is basically a compromise and should be handled as such

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  8. 1. I think that love and cruelty need to be in a relationship to make it a healthy one.

    2. You should both try and change to fit eachothers needs, so that you are both happy, not just one or the other.

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  10. 1.yes because ive been hurt by people by
    emotionally before but i still love them
    2. I don't think u should try changing them because then they wouldnt be the person u love anymore they would be someone else

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  11. 1. I think that love and cruelty can co-exist becuase I love all the members of my family but i don't always get along. Like with my parents, i love them but we fight over me getting things done sometimes and they end up taking everyhting away if i don't get it done. I really don't like them at the time but i never hate them. So love and cruelty can co-exist.
    2. You should never try to change someone that you love becuase if you do then they will end up hating you if they don't like who you are trying to change them into. and you should change your personalty if it is destructive to the people who are around you that you love. but if not then you should stay the same person that you were.

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  12. amelia nice comment u to brian c

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. 1.Yes cruelty and love co-exist because there is no love unless there is cruelty for example me and my sibling can't stand each other but it doesn't mean we don't love each other. the more we fight the more our love grows.
    2. You should not change anyone and you should not change for anyone not even your family because you are who you are weather somebody else likes it or not and you should be proud of who you are.

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  15. 1. I do think Love and cruelty can coexist, because I love my parents so much but we sometimes fight and argue, but i love them no matter what. Its kindof like a dog, the owner of a dog can neglect the dog and not take care of it, but the dog will still love the owner and submit to the owner.



    2. I dont tthink you should ever change somone, even for the better. a person should be there own and have there own personality even when a loved one try's to change them. I dont think you should change for a loved one either, you can change your attitude for the good, or stop addictions because that hurts your loved ones, but you should never change you personality.

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  16. 1.I think cruelty and love do coexist because sometimes your friends or family can be cruel, but thats what makes your relationship even stronger because its those little imperfections is what make relationships grow stronger and healthier. So, as much as you can get mad or get frustrated at someone at the end of the day you will still love that person you loved before.

    2. I don't think you should change the person you love because you love them for who they are, but there can be situations that you have to if there is something wrong with the person you love or they need your support in someway so it is a two way situation and it all depends on who and what the situation is to change or not change the person you love.

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  17. 1. I think that cruelty and love can co-exist in a realationship although sometimes it is difficult to see that cruelty usually makes the love stronger. For example, my siblings and I don’t always get along but in the end we learn from our mistakes or cruelty which makes the love part stronger.
    2. I think that both people should try to change. That way not only one person is having to sacrifice and both people can prove their dedication to the relationship. I also agree with Amelia and Cali.

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  18. 1. Yes i think cruelty and love and both exist because noone is always nice and there is always cruelty involved in every relationship. But that makes the relationship stronger as Morgan said above and makes the relationship closer.
    2. I dont think either people should change because that changes the relationship. If you love them you love them for who they are, not who they should be.

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  19. 1.I believe that you have to have love and cruelty in any relationship, but especially in your family. If you are always mean to one another then nothing will ever get better because you will not be able to stand to be around each other. But i also believe it is important because you can not always be nice to each other. For example when you get in fights with your parents or siblings it doesn't stay like that forever you eventually forgive each other. I think you have to have both components to make it work.
    2.I think that in love you should never have to change anything, whether its about you or them, but i do think that certain actions you make could be changed. When you love someone or they love you then they are sating they love everything about you including your flaws and I think that means you don't need to change anything. But if you are in an abusive relationship they need to change that even if you love them.

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  20. 1. yes i think that love and cruelty can exist in a family. when people fight, some get hurt, and that is the cruel part, but then the love comes in and someone ends up comforting that hurt person.. so yes i think that love and cruelty can co-exist in a family.

    2. i strongly think that you should not try to change someone. i saw someone else's blog and it says that a relationship is based on sacrifices, as well as trust and other characteristics... i think that if you try to change someone else, you can turn them off, and they wont feel the same, or they might feel pressured and awkward. so i think that you should change and make sacrifices for the other person in order to keep a strong relationship.

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  21. 1. I believe love and cruelty can co-exist because they define each other. You wouldn't know what love is without cruelity and likewise cruelity wouldn't be defined if there wasn't love. "The Shadow Proves The Sunshine"

    2.I don't think you should try to change someone because in the end they're the only ones who can change Themselves.
    Also, if you want to change for someone you love then go ahead if you think it is the best thing to do, as long as you are being your self when you change not changin into someone else.

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  22. 1. My sister and I are really close in age and I love her so much but we argue a lot and so i believe love and cruelty can coexhist. To have a happy friendship you have to argue and get into arguments or else you would have the worst relationship ever and it would be a bore to be around them. The amount my sister and I disagree is what makes us best friends.
    2. You should never try to change someone but you should never change yourself to please someone else either. To make friendships work you have to give up some things for the other person and they should give up things for you. Friendship and relationships are about sacrifices but the reason you are friends in the first place is because of who you are and who they are and you shouldnt change that.

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  23. 1. I love my bro even though he can be a jerk sometimes. I love my parents and they aren't jerks. There can be cruelty in families but it's life.
    2. You should make the change because not everybody is willing to make a change for you. If you really love them than maybe you changing is beneficial...

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  24. 1. Yes, I definitely think that love and cruelty can exist. Mostly, because when you love someone, you are bound to fight with eachother, because that is just how we are. I wouldn't say that cruelty is always torture or something, cruelty can just be harsh words. In any relationship, I would like to bet that any two or more people have gotten into an argument. When some things are said that aren't meant, then it would be cruelty and when you resolve it, it would be considered love.

    2. I don't think that you should ever try and change someone, unless it affects their health or something. If you try to change someone, that means that you don't like the way that they are, and saying that means that you should probably not be involved with that person if you are trying to change them. Now, if it has to do with the other person's health, like obesity or smoking, then i think it is perfectly fine to intervene and try to change them for the better.
    On the other hand, I don't think you should have to change yourself for someone you love. If you have to change yourself, then again, the person would not love you for who you are. And as I stated before, if you are trying to change yourself for your own benefit or for the health of someone else, then it would be perfectly understandable.

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  25. That was deep amelia and we should tango sometime JUST KIDDING!haha but we can idk what i'm talking about now haha anyway i liked your comment =)

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  26. I think both love and cruelty exist in family because one second you all are laughing an d having a good time the next you all are fighting and trying to get revenge on each other. About the question trying to change the people you love or changing for them I would definantly change for them because most of the time im out of line.

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  27. 1. The relationship with the people I love is different then with people I dont know. When I'm with the people I love I act more like myself. The people who know me best are my family. I also think love and cruelty co- exist because the ones who love you most can be the cruelest.
    2.I think you shouldnt change a person you love because you love them for a reason.If you change them, you could change the qualities that you love most about them.

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  28. 1. yes love and cruelty can co-exist. i love my brother and sister but i am not always the nicest person to them.
    2. you should not try to change someone you love. they are there own person and they can do what they want. you should not change yourself for someone but you could change other things for them.

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  29. 1.) Yes, love and cruelty does co-exist because the people you love can handle a little cruelty in their life. Such as, i love my older sister, however we can get into pretty nasty fights..but without getting cruel, you will never grow closer.
    2.)You shouldn't try to change the person you love. Realtiionships are based upon your love and faith in each other..and if you lose that faith by trying to change that person then aren't you going against what your realtionship truely means? You should accept that person's minor flaws..and you if you can't..then maybe you aren't mean't to be with him/her.

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  30. 1) I think cruelty and love can definitely co-exist. For exampple, in family you could fight with your siblings and that's cruelty. And then you'll eventually make up and that's love.

    2) I think that not only one person should change, I think both people can change. So then both will be happy and the love will be stronger.

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  31. 1. I think that cruelty and love do co-exist in relationships because most relationships are love-hate relationships. You can love your family member or fried, but at time you can also hate them. Usually its what a person does that makes you want to hate them, but when it all comes down to the bottom line you love that person more than ever because of the reason you hated them.
    2. I think a relationship is built on one another. You thrive off of each others strengths and weaknesses, so no one should have to change. When you love someone you acept them and everything that comes with them including their flaws.I think though if it is absolutly necessary that one of the two of them change, it should be you who changes. This is because if you really love them you will want to do anything to make them happy. You would be willing to do anything for a true friend or a family member out of love.

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  32. 1. My brother is the one in the family that i love, he always is giving me tips on what every im doing be it homework playing videogames or making dinner. Yes cruelty does co-exist in love all it is is friendly love and making you a better person then who you just were. Its just some friendly loving hate

    2.You should try to change someone to make them a better person then what they were. If you truly love them you would want to help them as much as you can to make them a better person over all. But if you live someone you love them for who they are so theres not always changing someone.

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  33. 1. Yes love and cruelty definately can coexist. actuallly they have to coexist. Their is both love and cruelty in our world and somehow they live together. I love my family more than I can explain but am i cruel to them sometimes? yes i am but that doesnt overrule my love for them. Love can sometimes make up for the cruel side people sometimes show.
    2. I think you should make changes for people you love. You cannot change a person fully. you can change little parts of people but only if you help them by making changes for them.Think about a child with depression you cannot take away their depression. You have to take them to a therapist talk to them etc. These are all changes in their life that wil help them but they as a person have not changed. I would not change anyone I love. Would i make changes for their benefit though? yes.

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  34. 1. yes in our house we love eachother but we don't show it.
    2.change them because then they will ga happy at you.

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  35. 1. Yes we all love eachother in my house but we show it by picking on each other and thats,expecially my brother, our way of experssing our love.

    2. I think we should cange a little but not so much to where we arn't comfortable with ourselves!

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  36. 1. Cruelty and love can co-exist in a relationship especially in our families. We love each other all the time but sometimes we don't agree on things. When we disagree on things we dont always work it out maturely. Sometimes we fight to settle things.

    2. We should try to change ourselves. If we truly love someone we should be willing to change something for them. Or at least try to.

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  37. 1. Yes, I believe cruelty and love can co-exist. We see it happen everyday! I believe that all the drama that goes on between close friends or the arguments you get in with your siblings all involve cruelty but builds love. From personal experience, I have found that even though i have gotten in a few arguments with people that hurt them and myself. But once we are done arguing, we realize how ridiculous it was and make a promise to never do it again, or just gain a new respect for the person in seeing their point of view. AS you can see, I believe that love and cruelty can come hand in hand.

    2. I don't believe that you should change someone you love. If you truly love them, they are perfect in your eyes and you encourage the person they already are. SOmetimes though, we help someone we love because they have lost themselves. In that case, I would want to help them to find themself again. But overall, I do not believe you should change someone you love.

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  38. 1. I feel like if you truly love someone you can overcome any obstacle you face with that person. Yes you can fight with them but there is no need to be EXTREMELY cruel and hurtful. I think that love does eventually rule over all other things. You can love someone so much that the only thing that matters is that you both are happy with each other and nothing can ruin true love with family.
    2. I think yes and no. I think yes because if the person you love is hurting physically or mentally because of a negative thing then you should try to break that habit and change them for the better. But the thing I oppose to is you should only break that habit if it will better the person and you aren't doing it for self happiness. I think you should insist them changing but it is truly only helpful if they can agree to it and change for themselves. I think no because if you love that person then there should be no need for change.

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  39. 1.Caleb it right. cruelty makes loves the strongest it can be and just like caleb said if we didnt have cruelty we wouldnt have strong love. Every emotion proves something to make it stronger.

    2. you cannot change someone else to make them love you because that is thier desiosion not yours and every person has thier own feelings but sometimes people change for love and they dont even know it they are chaning because they love that person so much. so people who are accually in love do change and most dont even know it

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  40. I would not change my family one bit. Sometimes being diffrent is better. They helped me to be who i am today.

    I would change myself for the better though. For what makes others happy.

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  41. I think they do co-exist. Everyone gets frustrated from time to time and we spread that with negative feelings. Sometimes we are extremely cruel to people, especially family because we know them on a deeper level then most people and they are more vulnerable, But we still have the family connection no matter what.

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  42. Love and cruelty can not exist if your truly love the people you have a relationship with. They cannot co-exist because if you really love someone them you can’t e cruel to them. Everyone gets mad at others sometimes but you love them deep down.
    No, again if you truly love them then you will accept them the way they are. And if they truly love you then they will accept you for who you are.

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  43. 1)I do think the co-exist because even when you truely love someone you can still have arguments. My mom and I love eachother very much, but we fight constantly. I think you can be cruel to someone no matter how much you love them.
    2)You shouldn't make others change to fit your needs. When you truely love someone, you can show it by changing your actions to make them happy, and if they love you they will except you for you and changing won't have to be an obstical.

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  44. 1. No, those things do not co-exsist because love and cruelty are opposites. Sure people could get mad at eachother but it would never be the real defenithion of cruelty.

    2. You should do neither. Love is about loving the person for the real them. If you change for someone its not the real you because your not being real with them.

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  45. 1. I think that cruelty and love do co-exist in relationships because most relationships are love-hate relations. I love my brother very much, but he beats me up most of the time but I love him and that will never change because I know that he is just joking around, and in the future it will make me a tougher person.

    2. I think you shouldn’t change a person you love because you love them for a reason, and love is taken in many perspectives. If you change them, you could change the qualities that you love most about that being.

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  46. 1. I love all the members in my family even though sometimes we fight. I think that love and cruelty can co-exist because there are times when I totaly dislike my mom or dad but that doesn't mean that I stop loving them. If anything the two emotions can be happening together most of the time. I am lucky that I don't have any brothers and sisters but most of my friends do and I see them fight all the time. That doesn't mean that they don't love each other. You never know, by beating each other up they may be showing each other how much they love each other.

    2. I think that you should try to change someone you love if you think that it would be better for them. You should not try to change someone you love just because you don't like what they are doing and you think that your way is better than theirs. Another reason is that if you love someone and you change to much of them then you might not find the same qualities in them that you had liked before.

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  47. 1. I love my mom and dad, even though they are divorced. I love them no matter what, even if we get mad at each other, or they pressure me about who they want to go live with in the future.
    2. I don't think I would want to change anyone in our family or the friends I have because they're perfect the way they are and I love them all so much.

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  48. 1. its more of a personail preffrancs it up to the people who seec love
    2. if you think the persin your going try to chang or are trying to change is worth to you

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  49. Love and cruelty can exist together, but should never live together. This is basically saying that: Yes you will some times be cruel to the ones you love, but you should never purposefully be cruel to the ones you love continuesly; for then you do not love them.
    You should always try to change the people you love from harmful things, but not when your the one who needs the changing. if your a smoker for example, you should not try to get your boyfrined to smoke just because you do; he should be trying to get you to stop changing you for the better.

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  50. 1. I believe Love and cruelty co-exist between everyone. Especially family because as a family we see are other family members when they are mad, sad, or vulnerable. So i think we can be extremely cruel to each other on the outside, we can be very caring for each other on the inside.

    2. No i believe no one should change or make someone change for love, But i think we all should be able to make compromises about things to come to a common agreement

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  51. i Think love and cruelty can co-exist when i love my family and friends but we can fight and get angry at eachother.

    I dont think you should change anyone you love if yoou love them than you love everything about them and wouldnt change anything

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  52. 1. I do believe that love and cruelty can coexist in the sense that what some percieve as cruelty can really be love and vice-versa. For example, discipline can be considered cruelty by the child, but love as the parent.

    2. I think that you should change yourself for the people you love, because we are all imperfect and we should try to change and improve not only for the people we love, but for ourselves also.

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